Press

September 17,1999

Homo Dish

It all started at 2pm with a scintillating first set. And we'd tell you about it if we had actually been there. (Doesn't that suck? All you girls agree to go on in the early set-in broad daylight-and we don't even get there to cover it.) Next year we'll set an extra alarm clock. Promise!

Highlights of the second set included the Lips girls' salute to the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, some frightening closeups of Sheila Noxema's gap-toothed face on the big screen and Richard Move as Martha Graham and his twig-decorated dance company emoting beautifully to the theme from Psycho. Girlina, in a stunning silver dress, with her hair in a huge ponytail and accompanied by a gaggle of painstakingly choreographed backup dancers, performed a very '60s go-go number to Geri Halliwell's "Look at Me." Ever so slightly less glamorous, Flotilla DeBarge presented a crowd-pleasing, hand-jiving version of "Movin' on Up"-the theme from The Jeffersons, not the M People hit-in a white beaded dress, black stockings and white flats (her "mama on the bus coming back from Great Adventure look"). And backstage (where she seemed not the least bit interested in having her picture taken with Katie Holmes), Flotilla singlehandedly broke up a line of ferociously voguing queens by simply opening her umbrella directly in front of the cameras that were filming them.

Speaking of Vogue, when supermodel Kylie Bax took the stage to plug The Big Tease-the film she's in with The Drew Carey Show's Craig Ferguson (opening in January) about a cutthroat hairdressing competition-Bunny told the barely audible mannequin to move her mouth closer to the mike "just like you do to get all those big modelling jobs" and then apologized to the crowd because they weren't close enough to see Kylie's track marks. Hedda Lettuce-always one to give Bunny a run for her money in the taste department-appeared in a big pink Minnie Mouse outfit with the words "I Give Head for Cheese" scrawled 'neath her tasselled breasts and performed "Set Disneyland on Fire" to the tune of "Great Balls o' Fire." And our very own covermodels, Kiki & Herb, almost cleared out the press pit (near the speakers) with an excruciating medley of a Snoop Doggie Dogg song and Pulp's "Common People."

They should have received a noise citation. Instead, between the second and final sets, the cops hauled off some poor, anonymous queen in a spectacular costume-very "Toilette of the Gods" in a headdress made of toilet brushes and a skirt cunningly crafted of pink urinal deodorizer cakes. Her crime? An act that her costume practically demanded: She climbed atop the Port-o-Sans, creating a major photo op. In the blinding glare of a million flashbulbs, the police dragged her off the johns. A minor melée ensued as the cops roughed up the resisting queen and the crowd chanted "Let Her Go!" (to the bathroom?). She had no such luck and was dragged across the West Side Highway by our valiant men in blue.

Back on stage, the final set opened with a Laugh-In segment that featured a barrage of tasteless JFK Jr. jokes and an equally filthy medley from Bunny. Candis Cayne, in a stunning gold dress, with her hair in a huge ponytail and accompanied by a gaggle of painstakingly choreographed backup dancers, performed a very '60s go-go number to "The Man with the Golden Gun."

Heavily anticipated, Cher-a-thon featured four queens including Jesse Volt impersonating Chastity's mother; when the one lip-synching "Dark Lady" released a swarm of live butterflies from her crystal ball, the crowd went nuts. But they were distinctly underwhelmed by the act from Broadway's Saturday Night Fever, when instead of a big production number, it turned out to be one blond chick singing "If I Can't Have You." Fortunately, the girls of Lucky Cheng's showed what a real bring-down-the-house musical number was shortly afterward, and The Ones, Mona Foot's band, made the most of their nighttime slot to present "Flawless"- their possible title song from this fall's drag-themed Robert DeNiro film of the same name-in eye-catching outfits of space helmets, red Speedos and harnesses trimmed in little red lights. All in all, Wetsock was the usual rollicking good time. And the weather wasn't nearly as bad as promised; it only rained twice, and then very briefly.